After far too much boozing recently the time has finally come to knock it on the head, it doesn't do anything for my Game other than being a state inducer, but that comes at too much of a steep price in terms of lower awareness and calibration, and thus less can be learned from the experience.... Not to mention those really bad decisions that can only be made under the influence of alcohol. So, with the main objective of the weekend to be to sarge 100% sober, off we went... well, some of us.
Friday
After a serious pub burger at The Renovation, me, Wolf and Cannon headed to The Vault to meet up with Hank and a social group he was out with. they were all on the piss and quite settled, we hung around for a bit then headed straight to Rotation, and I was just not feeling it. I'd had a mother fucker of a week at work, actually, a mother fucker of a fortnight to be honest, and my head was not in the game. I normally struggle a bit on a Friday night to get myself back into it, but this was harder than usual, there were loads of sets and I just locked up. After a while Wolf opened a 2 set and a couple of minutes later Cannon convinced me to go in to wing. Utter doddle, within seconds I was sat down occupying the obstacle, which was fine because she was more my type than Wolf's target... assuming she was Wolf's target, I didn't bother to check, just figured it was as he was sat next to her, must remember to go back to the old codes for checking that shit out.
I jumped straight in with comfort building stuff, cold read, qualification (minus the sexual framing statement, fail), 'Wake Up Anywhere', then threw out a time bridge, 'Fish Foot Spa', first time I'd used it, didn't hook, so I should have totally threw out my other default TB but didn't. I did however mention that we were going to Dizon later and hyped it up pretty hard. We should have number closed there and then while both had our targets in rapport, but sadly did the usual fail and ejected from set. downstairs we met back up with Cannon who was now with Todd and his new student.
We all headed over to Dizon where we met back up with Hank and co. I started getting into the swing of things and did some daft over the top dancing and bouncing around, which got some giggles from a 4 set in the corner next to the table that some of our group had occupied. This of course made my life easy as I sat down and just swung round to open, ran 'Fun & Friendly' but it didn't hook like usual, however the target was the one I was next to and the social pressure was too much for her so she engaged me and I just ran with that. Didn't tease or FTC, so slap on the wrist for that, but went into cold reading and ran with a few threads from there, but not much else.
Hit the dance floor with everyone else and it wasn't long before the 4Set I'd just opened hovered near by, totally should have re-engaged, but didn't and they wandered off. Not too much longer after that the 2Set from rotation turned up, Wolf's target headed over to him and I used the moment to re-engage my target at the bar, just said hey and then went back to the dance floor as the other one reappeared so isolation was out the window. this all eventually fell apart as they had a miss match with each other, the one I was interested in got tired and wanted to go home, the other wanted to carry on partying, tension raised and for some reason this is when I decided to try a close, right when she was pissed off with her friend, got facebook details but it wasn't solid and I knew it.
Saturday
Me and Wolf headed to the Toad & Chello to meet Hank, who it turned out had been on the piss all afternoon with a chick he's playing long game with. We had a look around, there was a few sets dotted aroubnd, one 2set in particular should have been opened but wasn't. The girl Hank was with headed home when her boyfrind came to pick her up, who Hank shamelessley waved at through the window and with a sadistic self assured grin uttered 'yeah, bye, I'm going to fuck your girlfriend', which I could not help but laugh at. And with that, we went to our venue of choice; Rotation.
Me and Wolf had already agreed that we were going to take turns in opening tonight and there was no getting out of it, he went first and opened a 2set upstairs, I don't know what went on with that set. We headed downstairs and I opened a 3 set in the corner with an opener about guys using hair removal cream (it was relevant but I'm not going into that). Ejected again fairly soon and rejoined Wolf and Hank a few feet away, Wolf opened a 2set over his shoulder and while that was going on I caught a 2 set who had just walked in the door (a couple of feet from where we were) simply by saying 'Hello' with enough energy to capture their attention, we ran with that for a bit and then turned to wing Wolf, but I was the fifth wheel so headed back to the 3 int he corner, sat with them and went cocky funny, this time they hooked very well, I had them giggling and throwing around all kinds of threads, no real structure though, just totally free styling in social and comfort stages, the target was furthest from me and hardest to hear (while Rotation is usually very set rich, the music is too fucking loud). I should have still gone for the close on all 3 for social circle or long game purposes, it would have been easy as once one agreed the others would have, but didn't and went to find the guys.
Wolf went to the gents while me and Hank headed to the bar where Hank opened a girl dressed as Where's Wally (Waldo for anyone in the States), chatted briefly then turned back, Wold reappaeared and immediately opened the same girl, which was a bit of an amusing moment, but it was totally fine, just one of those things you think you can't do but in fact you can and should.
We headed back downstairs again where Wolf was approached by a chick from a hen part who put a sticker on him, he enaged her and then another cam eover and started labelling me and Hank with stickers too. I then opened a blonde 2set nearby witht he hair removal thread again, Wold also engaged them ont he same topic, in my mind neither were targets, bad form as practice is still practice.
Wolf then opened a hot Brunette2Set, the obstacle leaned over and called Hank over, and I had a quick look around for another set, saw a blonde girl walking past, caught her eye and must have looked like I was about to open as she turned her body towards me while still heading the same direction and looked like she was waiting to hear what I said, but it didn't happen. I went over to the guys, Wolf was still in set but Hank had moved away and said that the obstacle was boring, so I went into set and introduced myself. Hank was right in some regards, she certainly didn't have any chat of her own, and Wolf ended the set before I could really get stuck in, but my opinion was that she just didn't have any game and was waiting to be lead through the interaction. Shame really as I thought she was pretty damn cute.
We shifted venue to Single Exception and I opened a 2 set with the hair removal cream opener again, should have stacked into tease and so on but didn't. Wolf opened a 2Set in the corner and me and Hank went outside so he could have a cigar. There was a seated 2Set that he opened by asking for a lighter, we should have properly engaged them in hindsight.
Next we headed down to Dizon (after a quick shit stop at the Wolf Lair) and Hank met back up witht he girl he'd been drinking with earlier. I did a quick scout around, saw a good 2 set in the smoking area I should have opened but didn't, same with a seated mixed 3Set as I figured the dude was with the cute one, but we'll talk more about these guys in a bit. We also saw the blonde 2set that me and Wolf saw after leaving Under Beat last week and they threw some pretty big AI's at us, why we didn't engage them was beyond me as I realised that the one Wolf hadn't hooked up with before was cute as hell (yet again with the blondes, my taste is definately shifting). We ended up int he smoking area where we ran into HippyNinja, a PUA we don't see much of these days as he's more or less out of the game, coincidentally I was forcing IOI's out of a girl who turned out to be his girlfrined, could have been an amusing situation if I'd opened. While chatting with these guys the mixed 3 set appeared and the dude tripped over and I quickly used that to open them, running 'Fun & Friendly' to preload, sat down and started chatting. It was immediately apparent that the guy was not with the cute girl, she wasn't his type at all... because she was a girl! So I ran 'Always Shy', finally running one of my default openers and teases in a set, something that I now need to make a habit of. Chatted to them for quite a bit, the cute one had a boyfriend and was lashed to the point where she couldn't maintain conversation, so I chatted with other two who were quite a lot fo fun, I should have closed them to build my social circle but again didn't, totally ignoring the ABC rule.
We ended the night by heading to Under Beat, in one of the bar areas I saw a seated 2Set that I should have opened, and I'm not even sure why I didn't as by now I was in state and wasn't feeling any kind of AA what so ever. What was very cool was that when I hit the dancefloor I was suddenly outside of my own head, and felt awesome, and that's when I started seeing AI's all over the place, too many! I didn't take any of them, but I was just enjoyin the moment, soberly feeling like that for the first time since I've been back in the game, possibly for the first time in a year and a half, if not longer!
Only other thing that went on was that we saw the chubster set from last week and possibly should have reopened them, but we just didn't have the energy by this point... maybe there is one other advantage to boozing, you don't feel the fatigue creeping up on you bercause you're too busy being drunk.
Right, main sticking points:
1. State control issues, manifesting in taking ages to open my first set of the weekend.
2. Sticking to my early stages game plan, I seem fine once I've hit cold read, probably because the gap between running my next routine is naturally longer due to being in the conversational comfort stage giving me time to think ahead, compared to the initial blasting out of open, chick crack, tease and FTC in quick succession.
3. ABC! A fucking B fucking C!
Solutions:
1. Open on entry to venues and practicing presence of mind techniques to shut off internal chatter (which has worked very well in the past)
2. Open purely with the intent of running Open > Tease > FTC
3. No more ejections from set with 'nice chatting with you guys, might see you later', now it's all purpose 'You guys seem cool, we should hang out some time, what's the best way to keep in touch?' OR don't leave the fucking set!
Showing posts with label rapport. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rapport. Show all posts
Monday, 27 June 2011
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Day 2 Report: Framing Fail!
Right, so lets start off with a brief explanation of why I vanished for a year. In short, I got myself into an LTR, became lame, stopped going out, it all fell apart, the end. April I got back into game and have been steadily regenerating my powers ever since, started posting again the other day as I'm closing in on the level I was at, but with some new sticking points that I didn't get before, some that I did get before, but also some things that were sticking points have now resolved themselves. anyway, I did my first Day 2 last night since being back in the game, which makes it my first Day 2 for well over a year!
'How did it go?' I hear you passively enquire, well my enthusiastic blog reading type person, I will tell thee, but first, let me explain something. Blondes are not usually my thing, never really have been, but for some reason I've been more attracted to them recently, and currently 4 out of the 5 chicks bothering to play long game with are blonde, which is very odd. I think a large part of the reason for this is that my recent girlfriend was very much my usual type, so much so that I think I've saturated that taste bud a bit, only the ones that heavily fall into that category have hooked my attention recently and I've been branching out a bit more. Wolf also pointed out the other day that I seem to really go for girls with soft features, the really cute face type girls, and this one I am about to talk about is all kinds of that!
So, I number closed her a few weeks back in the town I normally go sarging in, which happens to be 40 miles from where I live, but she was over this way last night because she was crashing at a friends place before they went to Glastonbury festival this morning. So I knew the logistics for an F-close were going to be somewhat unlikely but I wanted to see her anyway, partly for practice purposes and partly because, well, she's a cute girl (duh!). She drove over early to meet me and I met her outside her friend's place, drove us back into town and we headed to a bar that for the purposes of this blog I will call The Lounge. We chatted for ages and she wanted to know everything about me, which can only be a good sign, and she started hitting me on the leg when I teased her or when she was excited about what she was saying, and at this point I hadn't touched her of my own accord, so she's making a physical connection, very good sign. After a while I started matching and mirroring her body language to generate rapport, and after 30 or 40 mins she starts to copy my body language, so I know I'm definitely in rapport. This is something I like to play with in business meetings, and in a pick up scenario it can really make life easy when done right, one use is to use it by reposition your body as if you are just shifting posture to get comfortable, but int he process getting closer to her, and she will reciprocate, without even realising it, making things a little more intimate.
If you think that is something that should happen naturally like a friend of mine suggested, well, you're fucking crazy, you might as well say 'you should just let it happen' in regards to meeting people and pulling girls, and forget about pick up altogether! Game is all about making the most of everything, using what ever you can and taking every opportunity to get a result. People against this kind of 'trickery' tend to concerned about people being 'tricked' or 'manipulated' against their will into feeling rapport when it doesn't really exist. Well, I call bullshit on that line of thinking! The fact of the matter is that when you match and mirror someone to get into rapport, it's a two way street, you BOTH unconsciously go into rapport, even if you consciously created it. It's like a mental reflex, all you're doing by matching and mirroring is kick starting the unconscious process. but, I digress.
At this point I realised I wanted to escalate, or in plain English I want to kiss her, which is something I totally should have done in our initial interaction a few weeks ago but didn't, fuck knows why, she isolated me for fucks sake! But, even though I know it's what I want to happen next, I'm stalling, and get ready because I'm about to unleash my excuses and rationalisations for this, now I know you're thinking 'Dex, buddy, you were just being a pussy' and you're probably right, but indulge me for a second, it'll make me feel better.
I cant even remember the last time I made out with someone for the first time while I was sat next to them in a quiet bar, I usually I k-close on the dance floor, or stood up chatting in a busy bar or club, but last night it was dead in there, and being sat down I'm not in optimal position to kino escalate with all the incidental and 'accidental' stuff I usually do. However, I'm pretty sure she wants make out as well, because we're in rapport. for those that don't know, every time people do, say or think the same thing, it's actually because they are in rapport, thus attuned to each other, like harmonic resonance (not something as fantastic as psychic connection or as mundane as coincidence).
So, we both sense the need to mix it up, so we leave and have a wander around town. She's never been here before so it's sight seeing time, so I take her down to the old university buildings and churches and shit, all the olden style architecture is all illuminated in orange light and the sun is setting, women seem to love this shit, like they're in a fucking Disney movie. As we walk we're teasing each other, she's doing most of the proper talking still and I'm interjecting to make connection or take the piss from time to time, just being very chill. At one point she tries to nudge me into the curb, awesome, back to creating physical connection and a playful vibe, so now it's on, I reciprocate and half move in like I'm about to escalate then pull back as few times, testing how comfortable she is with that and teasing her at the same time. At the same time I'm also trying to figure out the smoothest way to escalate, my thinking was that it's gotta be smooth on the off chance I'm misreading the situation (I know how crazy that sounds given everything that's going on, but it's been a long time since I went on a day 2, it's just me and her, if it goes Pete Tong I'm not in a club full of girls to approach to take my mind off it, so I'm playing it safe, which was a mistake really. Pussy points to me.
We walk along the high street, I'm still teasing her every chance I get, then all of a sudden I pull a brilliant move (in theory), not totally sure how it went down exactly, she got excited about seeing a certain jewlery shop that she knew there was only 5 of in the UK, I acted like I thought she was looking at something else and in the resulting confusion I grabbed her waist from behind and maneuvered my way around her with my hands on her hips and BANG... we ended up... holding hands, this isn't the vibe I was aiming for, but maybe if I'd figured out what vibe I was aiming for earlier it might have helped, I was driving without directions or a map again. So now we're walking around holding hands, I've not even k-closed this girl yet, and in her mind this is 'our first date', in my mind I'm thinking 'I really fucked up', this is couple shit right here, for an AFC pulling that move would have been a stroke of genus, in fact, a few years ago I'd have been elated by this.
Eventually we end up on the bridge over the river and she pretty much k-closes me, I figure my coolness about it all must have been winding her up to the point she couldn't take any more, I was confident, cool, fun, clearly liked her, but not leching or being needy for the kiss, I'd made her feel so relaxed and good about herself she was getting butterflies (not the only one I've done that to recently), but I totally could have k-closed so much earlier and now I was drastically lacking any sexual framing.
Now we're walking and stopping to make out every so often, and the night is coming to a close (not to be confused with an f-close sadly) and the real cock up was about to happen on the way back to my car. We're talking about how I flaked on BBQ with work in favour of seeing her (which was true by the way, but totally a good line I might use again in the future), and I said I hadn't bothered to tell my boss I wasn't going. She playfully slaps my arm and says 'Dex!' in a fun telling off voice, like she's now considerably more familiar with me, my rapport trick has worked too well, and I turn to her, get in her face again and say 'Woman! you can't tell me off like that yet', adopting the same level of familiarity and implying she will be able to tell me off like that in the future, the word 'yet' was such an error! Her response is 'Can't I!?' in a 'I soooo can' kinda voice, and then she grabs me and makes out with me, thus.... passive acceptance on my part of the frame, double fuck!
we went back to the car, I took her back to her friends place, made out a bit outside, teased each other some more, then I go home.
As I'm just getting my head down for the night my phone gets a text message:
"Sorry if this wakes you up, only just got to bed. Just wanted to say thank you for a nice evening :-) X"
I really do need to sort my shit out and start driving and framing things towards sex much earlier and not go into such deep levels of connection, otherwise I'm just on course to be a love rat. That said, if I was looking for a girlfriend, she would be the sort of girl I'd go for, that in itself might explain my behaviour. Still, not too bad after so long off.
'How did it go?' I hear you passively enquire, well my enthusiastic blog reading type person, I will tell thee, but first, let me explain something. Blondes are not usually my thing, never really have been, but for some reason I've been more attracted to them recently, and currently 4 out of the 5 chicks bothering to play long game with are blonde, which is very odd. I think a large part of the reason for this is that my recent girlfriend was very much my usual type, so much so that I think I've saturated that taste bud a bit, only the ones that heavily fall into that category have hooked my attention recently and I've been branching out a bit more. Wolf also pointed out the other day that I seem to really go for girls with soft features, the really cute face type girls, and this one I am about to talk about is all kinds of that!
So, I number closed her a few weeks back in the town I normally go sarging in, which happens to be 40 miles from where I live, but she was over this way last night because she was crashing at a friends place before they went to Glastonbury festival this morning. So I knew the logistics for an F-close were going to be somewhat unlikely but I wanted to see her anyway, partly for practice purposes and partly because, well, she's a cute girl (duh!). She drove over early to meet me and I met her outside her friend's place, drove us back into town and we headed to a bar that for the purposes of this blog I will call The Lounge. We chatted for ages and she wanted to know everything about me, which can only be a good sign, and she started hitting me on the leg when I teased her or when she was excited about what she was saying, and at this point I hadn't touched her of my own accord, so she's making a physical connection, very good sign. After a while I started matching and mirroring her body language to generate rapport, and after 30 or 40 mins she starts to copy my body language, so I know I'm definitely in rapport. This is something I like to play with in business meetings, and in a pick up scenario it can really make life easy when done right, one use is to use it by reposition your body as if you are just shifting posture to get comfortable, but int he process getting closer to her, and she will reciprocate, without even realising it, making things a little more intimate.
If you think that is something that should happen naturally like a friend of mine suggested, well, you're fucking crazy, you might as well say 'you should just let it happen' in regards to meeting people and pulling girls, and forget about pick up altogether! Game is all about making the most of everything, using what ever you can and taking every opportunity to get a result. People against this kind of 'trickery' tend to concerned about people being 'tricked' or 'manipulated' against their will into feeling rapport when it doesn't really exist. Well, I call bullshit on that line of thinking! The fact of the matter is that when you match and mirror someone to get into rapport, it's a two way street, you BOTH unconsciously go into rapport, even if you consciously created it. It's like a mental reflex, all you're doing by matching and mirroring is kick starting the unconscious process. but, I digress.
At this point I realised I wanted to escalate, or in plain English I want to kiss her, which is something I totally should have done in our initial interaction a few weeks ago but didn't, fuck knows why, she isolated me for fucks sake! But, even though I know it's what I want to happen next, I'm stalling, and get ready because I'm about to unleash my excuses and rationalisations for this, now I know you're thinking 'Dex, buddy, you were just being a pussy' and you're probably right, but indulge me for a second, it'll make me feel better.
I cant even remember the last time I made out with someone for the first time while I was sat next to them in a quiet bar, I usually I k-close on the dance floor, or stood up chatting in a busy bar or club, but last night it was dead in there, and being sat down I'm not in optimal position to kino escalate with all the incidental and 'accidental' stuff I usually do. However, I'm pretty sure she wants make out as well, because we're in rapport. for those that don't know, every time people do, say or think the same thing, it's actually because they are in rapport, thus attuned to each other, like harmonic resonance (not something as fantastic as psychic connection or as mundane as coincidence).
So, we both sense the need to mix it up, so we leave and have a wander around town. She's never been here before so it's sight seeing time, so I take her down to the old university buildings and churches and shit, all the olden style architecture is all illuminated in orange light and the sun is setting, women seem to love this shit, like they're in a fucking Disney movie. As we walk we're teasing each other, she's doing most of the proper talking still and I'm interjecting to make connection or take the piss from time to time, just being very chill. At one point she tries to nudge me into the curb, awesome, back to creating physical connection and a playful vibe, so now it's on, I reciprocate and half move in like I'm about to escalate then pull back as few times, testing how comfortable she is with that and teasing her at the same time. At the same time I'm also trying to figure out the smoothest way to escalate, my thinking was that it's gotta be smooth on the off chance I'm misreading the situation (I know how crazy that sounds given everything that's going on, but it's been a long time since I went on a day 2, it's just me and her, if it goes Pete Tong I'm not in a club full of girls to approach to take my mind off it, so I'm playing it safe, which was a mistake really. Pussy points to me.
We walk along the high street, I'm still teasing her every chance I get, then all of a sudden I pull a brilliant move (in theory), not totally sure how it went down exactly, she got excited about seeing a certain jewlery shop that she knew there was only 5 of in the UK, I acted like I thought she was looking at something else and in the resulting confusion I grabbed her waist from behind and maneuvered my way around her with my hands on her hips and BANG... we ended up... holding hands, this isn't the vibe I was aiming for, but maybe if I'd figured out what vibe I was aiming for earlier it might have helped, I was driving without directions or a map again. So now we're walking around holding hands, I've not even k-closed this girl yet, and in her mind this is 'our first date', in my mind I'm thinking 'I really fucked up', this is couple shit right here, for an AFC pulling that move would have been a stroke of genus, in fact, a few years ago I'd have been elated by this.
Eventually we end up on the bridge over the river and she pretty much k-closes me, I figure my coolness about it all must have been winding her up to the point she couldn't take any more, I was confident, cool, fun, clearly liked her, but not leching or being needy for the kiss, I'd made her feel so relaxed and good about herself she was getting butterflies (not the only one I've done that to recently), but I totally could have k-closed so much earlier and now I was drastically lacking any sexual framing.
Now we're walking and stopping to make out every so often, and the night is coming to a close (not to be confused with an f-close sadly) and the real cock up was about to happen on the way back to my car. We're talking about how I flaked on BBQ with work in favour of seeing her (which was true by the way, but totally a good line I might use again in the future), and I said I hadn't bothered to tell my boss I wasn't going. She playfully slaps my arm and says 'Dex!' in a fun telling off voice, like she's now considerably more familiar with me, my rapport trick has worked too well, and I turn to her, get in her face again and say 'Woman! you can't tell me off like that yet', adopting the same level of familiarity and implying she will be able to tell me off like that in the future, the word 'yet' was such an error! Her response is 'Can't I!?' in a 'I soooo can' kinda voice, and then she grabs me and makes out with me, thus.... passive acceptance on my part of the frame, double fuck!
we went back to the car, I took her back to her friends place, made out a bit outside, teased each other some more, then I go home.
As I'm just getting my head down for the night my phone gets a text message:
"Sorry if this wakes you up, only just got to bed. Just wanted to say thank you for a nice evening :-) X"
I really do need to sort my shit out and start driving and framing things towards sex much earlier and not go into such deep levels of connection, otherwise I'm just on course to be a love rat. That said, if I was looking for a girlfriend, she would be the sort of girl I'd go for, that in itself might explain my behaviour. Still, not too bad after so long off.
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