This is not a post specifically about the Pick Up/Seduction community, however it is very applicable to it, but it is applicable in pretty much every other area of study. Over my life I have come to notice that there are three different types of teacher you will encounter, and it can be very useful to know the differences in that it can be very resource saving in terms of time, money, effort, etc. The three types as I see them are as follows:
The first type are those that should teach, in the traditional sense, they are people who have the knowledge and experience of a given subject, and ability to relay this knowledge and experience to a student effectively so as to get the best out of the student. This is the type of teacher who has earned the right to exchange teaching for money or another commodity, although they may choose not to do so, that is their perogative. I have been fortunate enough to come across a few of these people in my life, both in pick up and in other areas, but they are not all that numerous.
The second type are those that get too far ahead of themselves or do not have the best interest of a student at heart, they are the 'teachers' who like to think they are capable and worthy of teaching, but in fact they lack the necessary knowledge and experience, or the ability to replay those things to a student effectively. they may also be those people who are more interested in the potential personal gains of teaching for themselves such as finanacial gain or another commodity, rather than being interested in the benefit of the student. This is by far and away the the most common type of teacher I have encountered.
The last type of teacher are those individuals who are aware that they are still a student themselves, but understand that by teaching what they have learned thus far they will reinforce and improve their own knowledge base and skills, as well as developing it into new areas through observation and having their ideas challenged as they develop. These are the type of teacher that do not expect anything in return for their tutorage because by teaching they are being rewarded, they do it either because they genuinly feel they can help their student, or because they are accutely aware that in fact by teaching, they are teaching themselves and also being taught by their student.
Looking at any teacher I have ever encountered I can place them into one of these three categories fairly easily, but I also believe that it is entirely possible for someone to move fromone category to another, and in fact it might even be necessary for some people to experience being one of these types in order to become another type, for whatever theor reason for wanting to change, whether that reason is a conscious descision or not.
This template can be useful on two fronts, firstly if you are a teacher of anything, which one of these categories do you think you fall into? Now try to imagine which one you appear to fal into from the perspective of a student or prospective student, is that the best tyoe of teacher for you to be and if not which one is and what can you do to become that type?
If you are a student looking for a teacher, make sure you know what kind of teacher you are looking for. Try to bear in mind that what people offer you and what they are cabable of delivering can be very different things, try not to fall victim to the second type of teacher if you can help it.
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Moral Justification
Ok, so me and my wing were out in a club we hadn't hit before, not doing an awful lot and we'd been hitting the piss again (getting drunk for anyone who doesn't know that expression), but by a stroke of luck a girl stood on my foot on the dance floor, resulting in immediate reaction from me, kino, negs, etc.
She was a mature fresher, meaning she was 25 and just started her first year of uni. There is the often quoted ethical code of a PUA which is 'leave her better than you found her', this isn't really something that I've thought about much while gaming, probably because I haven't really needed to... however that was not the case here. After a while of leading her round, building comfort, push pull, yada yada yada I found out she had a boy friend back in her home town, that on it's own did not concern me, I've come to realise that 'boyfriend' is a pretty ambiguous term used by girls and if they are showing signs of attraction then it isn't all that serious. About 1.30AM my wing decided to bail and I stayed in set, I could see the IOI's plain as day from this girl and I felt it in my bones that this was on. Yet it turned out to be anything other than easy, I could see she was into me, but she was playing really hard to get, moving around the dance floor, flirting with other dudes, which of course meant I had to act totally indifferent towards this behaviour and do my own bit of flirting with other girls, although my effort was more subtle, which in turn seems to have come off as being higher value than her need to get attention and possible try to make me feel jealous. This went on for a while and every time I got close for the k-close she pulled away, and it got past the point where it was her playing hard to get, I could see something was really stopping her from going for it even though everything else in her behaviour and attitude was screaming for it.
I forced myself to stay in set longer than I normally would, I normally run a set in about 30 mins to an hour and half, any longer than that without a close is pretty much wasted time, to be honest 30 mins is normally my limit but go up to an hour and half in special cases. But there was something shouting in my head that let me know I could do it, I believed in my abilities like I never had before, I had this in the bag,, even though I wasn't sure how to progress to get it I felt the power to do it. We shifted venue, picked up 4 of the weirdest dudes I've ever met on the fly outside a closing pub and brought them with us, one of them made a play to steal my hard work, but I just back turned him when we were in the next bar, did some very obvious kino escalation in plain sight and he buggered off of his own accord. Even here I still couldn't get the k-close, I could feel her resisting it but I had my hands rubbing up and down the inside of her leg and seriously solid eye contact that just wouldn't break, so there was no way she didn't want something to happen. We went down to the dance floor and similar shit happened to before, we both started approaching and dancing with other people, but again hers was clearly aimed at getting my attention, and my behaviour appeared to be aimed more at the other girls int he club, even though it actually wasn't. I'd now been in set for 4 hours, all my canned material had been used up ages ago and I was free styling hard. We end up dancing with each other again in a very dark area of the club, hands end up running all over each other, scratching, grasping, all the things that people do when they madly make out with someone, but only there was no actual making out! The tension was now extreme and I knew full well she was rubbing herself against my hard on, I can see in my peripheral vision that all the people around us are watching... finally it happens... then she pulls away and her eye's have a look in them not to dissimilar from Luke Skywalker finding out Darth Vader is his father. There is a clear look of panic on her face, she shouts 'FUCK' and sprints up the stairs and out of the club. I have just enough time to see the look on my audiences faces, as if they had just seen a live bit of soap opera in action. I debate my options, I could call it a night... but I go after her, obviously something has gone on that I'm unaware of, I could have really screwed something up here and at the very least I should find out if I made a mistake in my game so I can avoid it in future.
I leave the club and see her down the road, I chase after her and when I catch up I can see she's drying her eyes and is now trying to stop herself from crying. We sit on a nearby step and I get it out of her; she is 'head over heels' for her boyfriend, they've been together for 5 months, and she's never cheated before... at first I think, ok, so she's not cheated on him before, these things happen right?... Nope, these things don't happen with her, she's so messed up about this because she has made it to the age of 25 without ever cheating on ANYONE before! With that plot point reveal the whole night is suddenly given a new perspective, I understand it all, and more to the point I now realise that I'm not just wielding a power, I'm wielding a weapon, I had no idea I could cause so much effect on people's emotions or lives, up until now I have never seen any effects of running game that have lasted longer than a night, a few weeks at most, but this is something that is going to have lasting effect on some level.
However, things did not stop there, sometimes people just need to get something out, and now we're hooking into each other again, then she's swearing at herself again for being a 'bitch', then we're necking again. this cycle went on for 30 mins while we walked back to her place. But now I'm starting to think that any further escalation will be really screwing with her unnecessarily, I was feeling guilt about what had happened, but was the guilt actually mine or did it transfer to me from her due to the level of rapport I had reached over the course of the night, the connection between us had become really strong and the gate swings both ways when you build a rapport if you're not filtering things out. Or was it social conditioning from society that was making me feel guilt? Most media portrays this type of situation as something people should feel guilt for, as do most people, maybe it isn't something I should feel any guilt about, or maybe that is just wishful thinking. Was all of this worth doing to further my own skills? I certainly pushed my skills and abilities during this pick up, is this progress I wouldn't have otherwise made had I not been in this situation? Does that justify it? Is that just an attempt to justify it and appease my guilty conscience?
The feelings of guilt subsided fast after the event so I'm inclined to think it was more her than me and I just picked up on her emotions empathically. But even if I don't feel any guilt now, should I feel bad? Have I become too desensitised about this kind of thing or is it a necessary evolution of my emotional maturity? And besides, she is a fresher, so surely this behaviour is natural and she's just not used to it yet?
Going back to the events; outside her place the mood has become strange, guilt is being felt by both, but we're still kissing, however now feeling sober and questioning the credo of 'leave her better than you found her' I am holding myself back from attempting to escalate any further for an f-close, we agree not to have any contact with each other as she is freaking out about seeing her boyfriend the following week (admittedly this was a total balls up on my part I now realise so let's not even talk about this, no discussion is needed), and I leave to walk back to my wing's flat, praying he'll wake up to let me in or I'm sleeping in my car (he woke up thank god!).
Should I have pushed for the f-close or was I right in thinking that was taking it too far? After all I proved my point which was that I knew I could pull her despite her resistance, f-closing would have been unnecessary and purely for cheap thrills and would have caused more damage right? Right?... No, I'm not convinced either.
What is concerning is that this was just one of a string of pulls I had recently from girls with 'boyfriends', and I think that factor in itself is something that makes me want the pull, I've always had a tendency to do thing's that make me feel 'naughty', so is this a new trend for me? The feeling of 'being naughty' as a motivating factor, a feeling that I get from gaming girls in relationships. I hope not, that can ultimately only lead to bad places and is not why I got involved in the game. Is it something I will continue to actively do? Only time will tell.
She was a mature fresher, meaning she was 25 and just started her first year of uni. There is the often quoted ethical code of a PUA which is 'leave her better than you found her', this isn't really something that I've thought about much while gaming, probably because I haven't really needed to... however that was not the case here. After a while of leading her round, building comfort, push pull, yada yada yada I found out she had a boy friend back in her home town, that on it's own did not concern me, I've come to realise that 'boyfriend' is a pretty ambiguous term used by girls and if they are showing signs of attraction then it isn't all that serious. About 1.30AM my wing decided to bail and I stayed in set, I could see the IOI's plain as day from this girl and I felt it in my bones that this was on. Yet it turned out to be anything other than easy, I could see she was into me, but she was playing really hard to get, moving around the dance floor, flirting with other dudes, which of course meant I had to act totally indifferent towards this behaviour and do my own bit of flirting with other girls, although my effort was more subtle, which in turn seems to have come off as being higher value than her need to get attention and possible try to make me feel jealous. This went on for a while and every time I got close for the k-close she pulled away, and it got past the point where it was her playing hard to get, I could see something was really stopping her from going for it even though everything else in her behaviour and attitude was screaming for it.
I forced myself to stay in set longer than I normally would, I normally run a set in about 30 mins to an hour and half, any longer than that without a close is pretty much wasted time, to be honest 30 mins is normally my limit but go up to an hour and half in special cases. But there was something shouting in my head that let me know I could do it, I believed in my abilities like I never had before, I had this in the bag,, even though I wasn't sure how to progress to get it I felt the power to do it. We shifted venue, picked up 4 of the weirdest dudes I've ever met on the fly outside a closing pub and brought them with us, one of them made a play to steal my hard work, but I just back turned him when we were in the next bar, did some very obvious kino escalation in plain sight and he buggered off of his own accord. Even here I still couldn't get the k-close, I could feel her resisting it but I had my hands rubbing up and down the inside of her leg and seriously solid eye contact that just wouldn't break, so there was no way she didn't want something to happen. We went down to the dance floor and similar shit happened to before, we both started approaching and dancing with other people, but again hers was clearly aimed at getting my attention, and my behaviour appeared to be aimed more at the other girls int he club, even though it actually wasn't. I'd now been in set for 4 hours, all my canned material had been used up ages ago and I was free styling hard. We end up dancing with each other again in a very dark area of the club, hands end up running all over each other, scratching, grasping, all the things that people do when they madly make out with someone, but only there was no actual making out! The tension was now extreme and I knew full well she was rubbing herself against my hard on, I can see in my peripheral vision that all the people around us are watching... finally it happens... then she pulls away and her eye's have a look in them not to dissimilar from Luke Skywalker finding out Darth Vader is his father. There is a clear look of panic on her face, she shouts 'FUCK' and sprints up the stairs and out of the club. I have just enough time to see the look on my audiences faces, as if they had just seen a live bit of soap opera in action. I debate my options, I could call it a night... but I go after her, obviously something has gone on that I'm unaware of, I could have really screwed something up here and at the very least I should find out if I made a mistake in my game so I can avoid it in future.
I leave the club and see her down the road, I chase after her and when I catch up I can see she's drying her eyes and is now trying to stop herself from crying. We sit on a nearby step and I get it out of her; she is 'head over heels' for her boyfriend, they've been together for 5 months, and she's never cheated before... at first I think, ok, so she's not cheated on him before, these things happen right?... Nope, these things don't happen with her, she's so messed up about this because she has made it to the age of 25 without ever cheating on ANYONE before! With that plot point reveal the whole night is suddenly given a new perspective, I understand it all, and more to the point I now realise that I'm not just wielding a power, I'm wielding a weapon, I had no idea I could cause so much effect on people's emotions or lives, up until now I have never seen any effects of running game that have lasted longer than a night, a few weeks at most, but this is something that is going to have lasting effect on some level.
However, things did not stop there, sometimes people just need to get something out, and now we're hooking into each other again, then she's swearing at herself again for being a 'bitch', then we're necking again. this cycle went on for 30 mins while we walked back to her place. But now I'm starting to think that any further escalation will be really screwing with her unnecessarily, I was feeling guilt about what had happened, but was the guilt actually mine or did it transfer to me from her due to the level of rapport I had reached over the course of the night, the connection between us had become really strong and the gate swings both ways when you build a rapport if you're not filtering things out. Or was it social conditioning from society that was making me feel guilt? Most media portrays this type of situation as something people should feel guilt for, as do most people, maybe it isn't something I should feel any guilt about, or maybe that is just wishful thinking. Was all of this worth doing to further my own skills? I certainly pushed my skills and abilities during this pick up, is this progress I wouldn't have otherwise made had I not been in this situation? Does that justify it? Is that just an attempt to justify it and appease my guilty conscience?
The feelings of guilt subsided fast after the event so I'm inclined to think it was more her than me and I just picked up on her emotions empathically. But even if I don't feel any guilt now, should I feel bad? Have I become too desensitised about this kind of thing or is it a necessary evolution of my emotional maturity? And besides, she is a fresher, so surely this behaviour is natural and she's just not used to it yet?
Going back to the events; outside her place the mood has become strange, guilt is being felt by both, but we're still kissing, however now feeling sober and questioning the credo of 'leave her better than you found her' I am holding myself back from attempting to escalate any further for an f-close, we agree not to have any contact with each other as she is freaking out about seeing her boyfriend the following week (admittedly this was a total balls up on my part I now realise so let's not even talk about this, no discussion is needed), and I leave to walk back to my wing's flat, praying he'll wake up to let me in or I'm sleeping in my car (he woke up thank god!).
Should I have pushed for the f-close or was I right in thinking that was taking it too far? After all I proved my point which was that I knew I could pull her despite her resistance, f-closing would have been unnecessary and purely for cheap thrills and would have caused more damage right? Right?... No, I'm not convinced either.
What is concerning is that this was just one of a string of pulls I had recently from girls with 'boyfriends', and I think that factor in itself is something that makes me want the pull, I've always had a tendency to do thing's that make me feel 'naughty', so is this a new trend for me? The feeling of 'being naughty' as a motivating factor, a feeling that I get from gaming girls in relationships. I hope not, that can ultimately only lead to bad places and is not why I got involved in the game. Is it something I will continue to actively do? Only time will tell.
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