Ok, since I started doing this blog I've unexpectedly had a number of dudes asking for advice on things PUA related, and while I'm happy to offer my opinions, I would like to stress that I am not an expert and by no means a teacher or 'guru' (see my post on teachers and 'gurus' here). That said, there is one type of question that I've been asked that I do have some advice on that I would like to share with everyone, and that type of question is one that involves a specific set or girl, usually one where things are not, or did not go as you would have liked, and how you can rectify it or what specifically you should have done differently. So here is what I have to say on this:
Go out and do it 10 more times! Open 10 more sets and run the same game, and then figure out what went wrong for yourself. I wasn't there when your specific incident occurred, so I can only theorise as to what happened, and that is based solely on your description of events, and it doesn't matter how honest and accurately you describe those events, it is still only your memories of the sensory input that made it through your perceptual filters and was then organised in your mind based on your internal belief system. Telling me how hot the target was on a scale of 1-10, how many AMOG's came in to the set and what routines you ran, isn't going to give me enough insight into what happened to give you feedback on how you could have closed. But before I totally sound like I'm being harsh towards any requests for advice, which certainly is not my intention, I just like to lay it on pretty thick sometimes, the advice I have for you is this; be your own teacher.
Now that sounds vague, almost as vague as when an AFC is told 'just be confident', if you have no experience or understanding with which to grasp that advice it essentially means nothing, so I will give some pointers on how you should go about being your own teacher.
Firstly, you were there, so ask yourself 'what do I think went wrong? Was it something I did or was it some external factor beyond my control? How could I prevent it from happening again or how could I handle it better if it happens again?'
When you've answered these questions as fully as you can, go out and run a minimum of 10 more sets, implementing any changes you decided upon, and see if it improves things, rinse and repeat. this is very important, and I shouldn't have to explain why (if I do have to explain why please contact me and I will do so) DO NOT test your theories on just one set! Make it a MINIMUM OF 10 SETS!
As a side note, if you are still hung up on one particular girl or set that didn't go the way you wanted, I ask you this; does it matter? So you didn't get this set, big deal, give yourself a pat on the back for being in set in the first place, you still showed more balls than most guys! The only way you will learn to be better is by doing this over and over and over, and making slight changes each time until you hit on the magic formula for you, and what ever your magic formula is, it will be different to what the formula is for me. It is different for everyone, and it is different in every set, just get out there and have fun! Having fun when you are gaming should be the only set in stone constant in your game.
Monday, 22 March 2010
Thursday, 18 February 2010
PUA Victim Mentality
A common thing I have noticed among a lot of community guys, and practically all AFCs is the mentality that their own particular situation is somehow worse than other people's and is the reason why they are not as successful with women as they would like to be or think they should be. The fact of the matter is that this attitude is a major part of the problem, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. By thinking this is the case, you make it your reality, and as thus make things more difficult for yourself. Trust me on this as it's something I used to say all the damn time, and to some extent still do, but you know what, there is only one way to deal with it and that is to be harsh with yourself about it, and to illustrate this I'm going to tell you straight up what you need to do and the best thing you can do is take this same attitude with yourself:
Stop your bitching, what's done is done, where ever you are in your life right now is where you are. Bitching about how you got there and why you are there is only making things worse, get the fuck over it. Live in the now, what is happening right at this second? Is there something you can do right now to make right now better? Go do it then! If you don't then all you are doing is proving that you are the one who isn't allowing you to make things better.
Trust me, this small change in attitude will remove a lot of issues pretty much immediately. If you cant do this small thing then no amount of canned material and Jedi mind tricks will help you get the girl, in fact I reckon that by doing this one small thing you will rapidly see massive improvements in your game. Don't forget that sometimes you might fall back into old habits and patterns of thought, so it might also be helpful to find a way to remind yourself of this important attitude and behaviour shift from time to time, like telling other people via an Internet blog for instance ;-)
Stop your bitching, what's done is done, where ever you are in your life right now is where you are. Bitching about how you got there and why you are there is only making things worse, get the fuck over it. Live in the now, what is happening right at this second? Is there something you can do right now to make right now better? Go do it then! If you don't then all you are doing is proving that you are the one who isn't allowing you to make things better.
Trust me, this small change in attitude will remove a lot of issues pretty much immediately. If you cant do this small thing then no amount of canned material and Jedi mind tricks will help you get the girl, in fact I reckon that by doing this one small thing you will rapidly see massive improvements in your game. Don't forget that sometimes you might fall back into old habits and patterns of thought, so it might also be helpful to find a way to remind yourself of this important attitude and behaviour shift from time to time, like telling other people via an Internet blog for instance ;-)
Sunday, 10 January 2010
3 Types of Teacher
This is not a post specifically about the Pick Up/Seduction community, however it is very applicable to it, but it is applicable in pretty much every other area of study. Over my life I have come to notice that there are three different types of teacher you will encounter, and it can be very useful to know the differences in that it can be very resource saving in terms of time, money, effort, etc. The three types as I see them are as follows:
The first type are those that should teach, in the traditional sense, they are people who have the knowledge and experience of a given subject, and ability to relay this knowledge and experience to a student effectively so as to get the best out of the student. This is the type of teacher who has earned the right to exchange teaching for money or another commodity, although they may choose not to do so, that is their perogative. I have been fortunate enough to come across a few of these people in my life, both in pick up and in other areas, but they are not all that numerous.
The second type are those that get too far ahead of themselves or do not have the best interest of a student at heart, they are the 'teachers' who like to think they are capable and worthy of teaching, but in fact they lack the necessary knowledge and experience, or the ability to replay those things to a student effectively. they may also be those people who are more interested in the potential personal gains of teaching for themselves such as finanacial gain or another commodity, rather than being interested in the benefit of the student. This is by far and away the the most common type of teacher I have encountered.
The last type of teacher are those individuals who are aware that they are still a student themselves, but understand that by teaching what they have learned thus far they will reinforce and improve their own knowledge base and skills, as well as developing it into new areas through observation and having their ideas challenged as they develop. These are the type of teacher that do not expect anything in return for their tutorage because by teaching they are being rewarded, they do it either because they genuinly feel they can help their student, or because they are accutely aware that in fact by teaching, they are teaching themselves and also being taught by their student.
Looking at any teacher I have ever encountered I can place them into one of these three categories fairly easily, but I also believe that it is entirely possible for someone to move fromone category to another, and in fact it might even be necessary for some people to experience being one of these types in order to become another type, for whatever theor reason for wanting to change, whether that reason is a conscious descision or not.
This template can be useful on two fronts, firstly if you are a teacher of anything, which one of these categories do you think you fall into? Now try to imagine which one you appear to fal into from the perspective of a student or prospective student, is that the best tyoe of teacher for you to be and if not which one is and what can you do to become that type?
If you are a student looking for a teacher, make sure you know what kind of teacher you are looking for. Try to bear in mind that what people offer you and what they are cabable of delivering can be very different things, try not to fall victim to the second type of teacher if you can help it.
The first type are those that should teach, in the traditional sense, they are people who have the knowledge and experience of a given subject, and ability to relay this knowledge and experience to a student effectively so as to get the best out of the student. This is the type of teacher who has earned the right to exchange teaching for money or another commodity, although they may choose not to do so, that is their perogative. I have been fortunate enough to come across a few of these people in my life, both in pick up and in other areas, but they are not all that numerous.
The second type are those that get too far ahead of themselves or do not have the best interest of a student at heart, they are the 'teachers' who like to think they are capable and worthy of teaching, but in fact they lack the necessary knowledge and experience, or the ability to replay those things to a student effectively. they may also be those people who are more interested in the potential personal gains of teaching for themselves such as finanacial gain or another commodity, rather than being interested in the benefit of the student. This is by far and away the the most common type of teacher I have encountered.
The last type of teacher are those individuals who are aware that they are still a student themselves, but understand that by teaching what they have learned thus far they will reinforce and improve their own knowledge base and skills, as well as developing it into new areas through observation and having their ideas challenged as they develop. These are the type of teacher that do not expect anything in return for their tutorage because by teaching they are being rewarded, they do it either because they genuinly feel they can help their student, or because they are accutely aware that in fact by teaching, they are teaching themselves and also being taught by their student.
Looking at any teacher I have ever encountered I can place them into one of these three categories fairly easily, but I also believe that it is entirely possible for someone to move fromone category to another, and in fact it might even be necessary for some people to experience being one of these types in order to become another type, for whatever theor reason for wanting to change, whether that reason is a conscious descision or not.
This template can be useful on two fronts, firstly if you are a teacher of anything, which one of these categories do you think you fall into? Now try to imagine which one you appear to fal into from the perspective of a student or prospective student, is that the best tyoe of teacher for you to be and if not which one is and what can you do to become that type?
If you are a student looking for a teacher, make sure you know what kind of teacher you are looking for. Try to bear in mind that what people offer you and what they are cabable of delivering can be very different things, try not to fall victim to the second type of teacher if you can help it.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Moral Justification
Ok, so me and my wing were out in a club we hadn't hit before, not doing an awful lot and we'd been hitting the piss again (getting drunk for anyone who doesn't know that expression), but by a stroke of luck a girl stood on my foot on the dance floor, resulting in immediate reaction from me, kino, negs, etc.
She was a mature fresher, meaning she was 25 and just started her first year of uni. There is the often quoted ethical code of a PUA which is 'leave her better than you found her', this isn't really something that I've thought about much while gaming, probably because I haven't really needed to... however that was not the case here. After a while of leading her round, building comfort, push pull, yada yada yada I found out she had a boy friend back in her home town, that on it's own did not concern me, I've come to realise that 'boyfriend' is a pretty ambiguous term used by girls and if they are showing signs of attraction then it isn't all that serious. About 1.30AM my wing decided to bail and I stayed in set, I could see the IOI's plain as day from this girl and I felt it in my bones that this was on. Yet it turned out to be anything other than easy, I could see she was into me, but she was playing really hard to get, moving around the dance floor, flirting with other dudes, which of course meant I had to act totally indifferent towards this behaviour and do my own bit of flirting with other girls, although my effort was more subtle, which in turn seems to have come off as being higher value than her need to get attention and possible try to make me feel jealous. This went on for a while and every time I got close for the k-close she pulled away, and it got past the point where it was her playing hard to get, I could see something was really stopping her from going for it even though everything else in her behaviour and attitude was screaming for it.
I forced myself to stay in set longer than I normally would, I normally run a set in about 30 mins to an hour and half, any longer than that without a close is pretty much wasted time, to be honest 30 mins is normally my limit but go up to an hour and half in special cases. But there was something shouting in my head that let me know I could do it, I believed in my abilities like I never had before, I had this in the bag,, even though I wasn't sure how to progress to get it I felt the power to do it. We shifted venue, picked up 4 of the weirdest dudes I've ever met on the fly outside a closing pub and brought them with us, one of them made a play to steal my hard work, but I just back turned him when we were in the next bar, did some very obvious kino escalation in plain sight and he buggered off of his own accord. Even here I still couldn't get the k-close, I could feel her resisting it but I had my hands rubbing up and down the inside of her leg and seriously solid eye contact that just wouldn't break, so there was no way she didn't want something to happen. We went down to the dance floor and similar shit happened to before, we both started approaching and dancing with other people, but again hers was clearly aimed at getting my attention, and my behaviour appeared to be aimed more at the other girls int he club, even though it actually wasn't. I'd now been in set for 4 hours, all my canned material had been used up ages ago and I was free styling hard. We end up dancing with each other again in a very dark area of the club, hands end up running all over each other, scratching, grasping, all the things that people do when they madly make out with someone, but only there was no actual making out! The tension was now extreme and I knew full well she was rubbing herself against my hard on, I can see in my peripheral vision that all the people around us are watching... finally it happens... then she pulls away and her eye's have a look in them not to dissimilar from Luke Skywalker finding out Darth Vader is his father. There is a clear look of panic on her face, she shouts 'FUCK' and sprints up the stairs and out of the club. I have just enough time to see the look on my audiences faces, as if they had just seen a live bit of soap opera in action. I debate my options, I could call it a night... but I go after her, obviously something has gone on that I'm unaware of, I could have really screwed something up here and at the very least I should find out if I made a mistake in my game so I can avoid it in future.
I leave the club and see her down the road, I chase after her and when I catch up I can see she's drying her eyes and is now trying to stop herself from crying. We sit on a nearby step and I get it out of her; she is 'head over heels' for her boyfriend, they've been together for 5 months, and she's never cheated before... at first I think, ok, so she's not cheated on him before, these things happen right?... Nope, these things don't happen with her, she's so messed up about this because she has made it to the age of 25 without ever cheating on ANYONE before! With that plot point reveal the whole night is suddenly given a new perspective, I understand it all, and more to the point I now realise that I'm not just wielding a power, I'm wielding a weapon, I had no idea I could cause so much effect on people's emotions or lives, up until now I have never seen any effects of running game that have lasted longer than a night, a few weeks at most, but this is something that is going to have lasting effect on some level.
However, things did not stop there, sometimes people just need to get something out, and now we're hooking into each other again, then she's swearing at herself again for being a 'bitch', then we're necking again. this cycle went on for 30 mins while we walked back to her place. But now I'm starting to think that any further escalation will be really screwing with her unnecessarily, I was feeling guilt about what had happened, but was the guilt actually mine or did it transfer to me from her due to the level of rapport I had reached over the course of the night, the connection between us had become really strong and the gate swings both ways when you build a rapport if you're not filtering things out. Or was it social conditioning from society that was making me feel guilt? Most media portrays this type of situation as something people should feel guilt for, as do most people, maybe it isn't something I should feel any guilt about, or maybe that is just wishful thinking. Was all of this worth doing to further my own skills? I certainly pushed my skills and abilities during this pick up, is this progress I wouldn't have otherwise made had I not been in this situation? Does that justify it? Is that just an attempt to justify it and appease my guilty conscience?
The feelings of guilt subsided fast after the event so I'm inclined to think it was more her than me and I just picked up on her emotions empathically. But even if I don't feel any guilt now, should I feel bad? Have I become too desensitised about this kind of thing or is it a necessary evolution of my emotional maturity? And besides, she is a fresher, so surely this behaviour is natural and she's just not used to it yet?
Going back to the events; outside her place the mood has become strange, guilt is being felt by both, but we're still kissing, however now feeling sober and questioning the credo of 'leave her better than you found her' I am holding myself back from attempting to escalate any further for an f-close, we agree not to have any contact with each other as she is freaking out about seeing her boyfriend the following week (admittedly this was a total balls up on my part I now realise so let's not even talk about this, no discussion is needed), and I leave to walk back to my wing's flat, praying he'll wake up to let me in or I'm sleeping in my car (he woke up thank god!).
Should I have pushed for the f-close or was I right in thinking that was taking it too far? After all I proved my point which was that I knew I could pull her despite her resistance, f-closing would have been unnecessary and purely for cheap thrills and would have caused more damage right? Right?... No, I'm not convinced either.
What is concerning is that this was just one of a string of pulls I had recently from girls with 'boyfriends', and I think that factor in itself is something that makes me want the pull, I've always had a tendency to do thing's that make me feel 'naughty', so is this a new trend for me? The feeling of 'being naughty' as a motivating factor, a feeling that I get from gaming girls in relationships. I hope not, that can ultimately only lead to bad places and is not why I got involved in the game. Is it something I will continue to actively do? Only time will tell.
She was a mature fresher, meaning she was 25 and just started her first year of uni. There is the often quoted ethical code of a PUA which is 'leave her better than you found her', this isn't really something that I've thought about much while gaming, probably because I haven't really needed to... however that was not the case here. After a while of leading her round, building comfort, push pull, yada yada yada I found out she had a boy friend back in her home town, that on it's own did not concern me, I've come to realise that 'boyfriend' is a pretty ambiguous term used by girls and if they are showing signs of attraction then it isn't all that serious. About 1.30AM my wing decided to bail and I stayed in set, I could see the IOI's plain as day from this girl and I felt it in my bones that this was on. Yet it turned out to be anything other than easy, I could see she was into me, but she was playing really hard to get, moving around the dance floor, flirting with other dudes, which of course meant I had to act totally indifferent towards this behaviour and do my own bit of flirting with other girls, although my effort was more subtle, which in turn seems to have come off as being higher value than her need to get attention and possible try to make me feel jealous. This went on for a while and every time I got close for the k-close she pulled away, and it got past the point where it was her playing hard to get, I could see something was really stopping her from going for it even though everything else in her behaviour and attitude was screaming for it.
I forced myself to stay in set longer than I normally would, I normally run a set in about 30 mins to an hour and half, any longer than that without a close is pretty much wasted time, to be honest 30 mins is normally my limit but go up to an hour and half in special cases. But there was something shouting in my head that let me know I could do it, I believed in my abilities like I never had before, I had this in the bag,, even though I wasn't sure how to progress to get it I felt the power to do it. We shifted venue, picked up 4 of the weirdest dudes I've ever met on the fly outside a closing pub and brought them with us, one of them made a play to steal my hard work, but I just back turned him when we were in the next bar, did some very obvious kino escalation in plain sight and he buggered off of his own accord. Even here I still couldn't get the k-close, I could feel her resisting it but I had my hands rubbing up and down the inside of her leg and seriously solid eye contact that just wouldn't break, so there was no way she didn't want something to happen. We went down to the dance floor and similar shit happened to before, we both started approaching and dancing with other people, but again hers was clearly aimed at getting my attention, and my behaviour appeared to be aimed more at the other girls int he club, even though it actually wasn't. I'd now been in set for 4 hours, all my canned material had been used up ages ago and I was free styling hard. We end up dancing with each other again in a very dark area of the club, hands end up running all over each other, scratching, grasping, all the things that people do when they madly make out with someone, but only there was no actual making out! The tension was now extreme and I knew full well she was rubbing herself against my hard on, I can see in my peripheral vision that all the people around us are watching... finally it happens... then she pulls away and her eye's have a look in them not to dissimilar from Luke Skywalker finding out Darth Vader is his father. There is a clear look of panic on her face, she shouts 'FUCK' and sprints up the stairs and out of the club. I have just enough time to see the look on my audiences faces, as if they had just seen a live bit of soap opera in action. I debate my options, I could call it a night... but I go after her, obviously something has gone on that I'm unaware of, I could have really screwed something up here and at the very least I should find out if I made a mistake in my game so I can avoid it in future.
I leave the club and see her down the road, I chase after her and when I catch up I can see she's drying her eyes and is now trying to stop herself from crying. We sit on a nearby step and I get it out of her; she is 'head over heels' for her boyfriend, they've been together for 5 months, and she's never cheated before... at first I think, ok, so she's not cheated on him before, these things happen right?... Nope, these things don't happen with her, she's so messed up about this because she has made it to the age of 25 without ever cheating on ANYONE before! With that plot point reveal the whole night is suddenly given a new perspective, I understand it all, and more to the point I now realise that I'm not just wielding a power, I'm wielding a weapon, I had no idea I could cause so much effect on people's emotions or lives, up until now I have never seen any effects of running game that have lasted longer than a night, a few weeks at most, but this is something that is going to have lasting effect on some level.
However, things did not stop there, sometimes people just need to get something out, and now we're hooking into each other again, then she's swearing at herself again for being a 'bitch', then we're necking again. this cycle went on for 30 mins while we walked back to her place. But now I'm starting to think that any further escalation will be really screwing with her unnecessarily, I was feeling guilt about what had happened, but was the guilt actually mine or did it transfer to me from her due to the level of rapport I had reached over the course of the night, the connection between us had become really strong and the gate swings both ways when you build a rapport if you're not filtering things out. Or was it social conditioning from society that was making me feel guilt? Most media portrays this type of situation as something people should feel guilt for, as do most people, maybe it isn't something I should feel any guilt about, or maybe that is just wishful thinking. Was all of this worth doing to further my own skills? I certainly pushed my skills and abilities during this pick up, is this progress I wouldn't have otherwise made had I not been in this situation? Does that justify it? Is that just an attempt to justify it and appease my guilty conscience?
The feelings of guilt subsided fast after the event so I'm inclined to think it was more her than me and I just picked up on her emotions empathically. But even if I don't feel any guilt now, should I feel bad? Have I become too desensitised about this kind of thing or is it a necessary evolution of my emotional maturity? And besides, she is a fresher, so surely this behaviour is natural and she's just not used to it yet?
Going back to the events; outside her place the mood has become strange, guilt is being felt by both, but we're still kissing, however now feeling sober and questioning the credo of 'leave her better than you found her' I am holding myself back from attempting to escalate any further for an f-close, we agree not to have any contact with each other as she is freaking out about seeing her boyfriend the following week (admittedly this was a total balls up on my part I now realise so let's not even talk about this, no discussion is needed), and I leave to walk back to my wing's flat, praying he'll wake up to let me in or I'm sleeping in my car (he woke up thank god!).
Should I have pushed for the f-close or was I right in thinking that was taking it too far? After all I proved my point which was that I knew I could pull her despite her resistance, f-closing would have been unnecessary and purely for cheap thrills and would have caused more damage right? Right?... No, I'm not convinced either.
What is concerning is that this was just one of a string of pulls I had recently from girls with 'boyfriends', and I think that factor in itself is something that makes me want the pull, I've always had a tendency to do thing's that make me feel 'naughty', so is this a new trend for me? The feeling of 'being naughty' as a motivating factor, a feeling that I get from gaming girls in relationships. I hope not, that can ultimately only lead to bad places and is not why I got involved in the game. Is it something I will continue to actively do? Only time will tell.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
The Moment It All Falls Apart
So a few weeks ago I went to a friends wedding, got pretty drunk, then went out to a club afterwards with a few of the other wedding goers. Inside the club I spotted a bar maid who ticked a lot of my boxes, and this woke up my gaming senses enough for me to start acting up a bit. I grabbed the best man and opened a mixed 2 set by us by telling them he had just got married but his new wife had passed out at the hotel, then I ejected from set and left him to it. A little while later he comes up to me and tells me not to do that again because he was stuck with them for 10 minutes talking about his imaginary wedding and wife, with that I grabbed him and we walked around opening as many sets as I could find with the same thing and quickly ejecting, I could see he was enjoying it as much as I was and this started to really boost my state, and sober me up. While we were doing this another mixed 2 set walked past us and I got some solid eye contact from the girl. Later on me and the best man were sat on a sofa discussing game, he's one of my best mates and has been aware of my involvement in pick up from the beginning, but this was the first time he'd really seen me gaming since I had become competent at it. The mixed 2 set that I had the IOI from came and sat adjacent to us, but due to my alcohol intake I didn't recognise them, despite her giving more IOI's. My friend spotted the IOI's and assumed they were aimed at him, and as a result he asked for an opener, which I supplied, and went in to open the set. Within seconds the girl jumped across the room and parked herself next to me, leaving my mate and her friend chatting.
Now my state is pumping, I start stacking forward with my usual stuff, she's lapping all of it up, she's a cute little American girl who's just got into town that week, we're connecting, flirting, playing, and having an awesome time. I lead her round the place once, we get a drink, I run some sexual framing routines and it's all totally on the cards. We're about 20 mins down the line and it's looking like a done deal, which is when I get the impulse to bounce her to the dance floor, and for some reason, I questioned this instinct. This was when things started to go south, because I questioned my instinct, I then started trying to think about what I should do next, and nothing seemed to be good enough, so I figured I'd eject from set for a bit to give her time to miss me while I come up with a plan - mistake number two. I hit the dance floor for a bit with some of the other people from the wedding, we're actually in a student club and had somehow blagged our way in, so the fact they we are all suited and booted is generating a lot of attention, but I can see some of the dudes I know forming crystals around groups of girls. Deciding to show them up I start jumping into the centre of the groups and dancing around like I own the place, which again is building my state and social proof. this is when I spot the American girl again, she's with another of her guy friends (it turned out the set was a lot bigger than the 2 I originally thought it was) and looking over at me, but this place is so rammed I couldn't get over to her without making it look very clunky and/or needy, so I give it some time then go try to find her again. she's back at the seating area with her mates, so I sit down and start chatting to them, which is when she kicks out the words 'you're a really nice guy aren't you?'. Being drunk I totally miss-calibrated and assumed this was an IOD or a challenge, and as such assumed I'd botched the set, this was when things really fell apart... or at least, I THOUGHT it had fallen apart, and that's what is important here, I thought it. The fact of the matter is that in all likelihood it was an IOI, I had social proof to the max, was probably the highest value guy in the venue, we'd made a good connection and she's bought into all the frames I'd put forward, if anything, this was her trying to build rapport.
But like I say, I thought it had fallen apart, that was my reality at that moment in time, so I ejected and went back to the dance floor. I didn't have to wait too long to discover that my perception had been incorrect, because while I was back on the dance floor I caught the eye of another girl, a Welsh red head (I don't know what it is with me and red heads), I quickly escalated and got into heavy k-closing. About 10 mins down the line, while I'm against the wall with this new girl, I see the American girl in my peripheral vision about 2 feet away from me, with a look on her face of utter disappointment and anger. At that moment it all pretty much became clear to me, but thankfully I didn't react to it, I held the frame I was in and 10 minutes later left with the Welsh girl, so I can't really complain.
the lesson here is that you should follow your instincts, if you find yourself questioning them logically, ignore your logical mind unless it actually has a course of action for you to follow, but if it is just questioning your impulses you need to switch it off, or you'll just end up second guessing yourself. How does this look to a girl? It looks like you have lack of conviction in your actions, like you are sexually un-confident, and a whole load of other unattractive behavioural traits. If you want to do it, and no one is gonna get hurt because of it, then just fucking do it.
Also, drinking and game do not mix, trust me on this, it's a cocktail I have sampled many times lately and it always leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
Now my state is pumping, I start stacking forward with my usual stuff, she's lapping all of it up, she's a cute little American girl who's just got into town that week, we're connecting, flirting, playing, and having an awesome time. I lead her round the place once, we get a drink, I run some sexual framing routines and it's all totally on the cards. We're about 20 mins down the line and it's looking like a done deal, which is when I get the impulse to bounce her to the dance floor, and for some reason, I questioned this instinct. This was when things started to go south, because I questioned my instinct, I then started trying to think about what I should do next, and nothing seemed to be good enough, so I figured I'd eject from set for a bit to give her time to miss me while I come up with a plan - mistake number two. I hit the dance floor for a bit with some of the other people from the wedding, we're actually in a student club and had somehow blagged our way in, so the fact they we are all suited and booted is generating a lot of attention, but I can see some of the dudes I know forming crystals around groups of girls. Deciding to show them up I start jumping into the centre of the groups and dancing around like I own the place, which again is building my state and social proof. this is when I spot the American girl again, she's with another of her guy friends (it turned out the set was a lot bigger than the 2 I originally thought it was) and looking over at me, but this place is so rammed I couldn't get over to her without making it look very clunky and/or needy, so I give it some time then go try to find her again. she's back at the seating area with her mates, so I sit down and start chatting to them, which is when she kicks out the words 'you're a really nice guy aren't you?'. Being drunk I totally miss-calibrated and assumed this was an IOD or a challenge, and as such assumed I'd botched the set, this was when things really fell apart... or at least, I THOUGHT it had fallen apart, and that's what is important here, I thought it. The fact of the matter is that in all likelihood it was an IOI, I had social proof to the max, was probably the highest value guy in the venue, we'd made a good connection and she's bought into all the frames I'd put forward, if anything, this was her trying to build rapport.
But like I say, I thought it had fallen apart, that was my reality at that moment in time, so I ejected and went back to the dance floor. I didn't have to wait too long to discover that my perception had been incorrect, because while I was back on the dance floor I caught the eye of another girl, a Welsh red head (I don't know what it is with me and red heads), I quickly escalated and got into heavy k-closing. About 10 mins down the line, while I'm against the wall with this new girl, I see the American girl in my peripheral vision about 2 feet away from me, with a look on her face of utter disappointment and anger. At that moment it all pretty much became clear to me, but thankfully I didn't react to it, I held the frame I was in and 10 minutes later left with the Welsh girl, so I can't really complain.
the lesson here is that you should follow your instincts, if you find yourself questioning them logically, ignore your logical mind unless it actually has a course of action for you to follow, but if it is just questioning your impulses you need to switch it off, or you'll just end up second guessing yourself. How does this look to a girl? It looks like you have lack of conviction in your actions, like you are sexually un-confident, and a whole load of other unattractive behavioural traits. If you want to do it, and no one is gonna get hurt because of it, then just fucking do it.
Also, drinking and game do not mix, trust me on this, it's a cocktail I have sampled many times lately and it always leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
Quantum Leap
Ok, this is a totally abstract concept, and I know similar scenarios have been debated before, but this caught my imagination enough for me to post about it here. anyone who has seen Quantum Leap will be familiar with the idea of your consciousness time travelling and jumping into someone else's body, and I think there may have even been an episode of the show where something like this happened, but I want you to imagine what it would be like to quantum leap into yourself as a teenager. This is obviously way out there, but how do you think you would be able to cope with that, on the surface it sounds great, getting to live through it all again but with all the knowledge and skills you've developed since then, it sounds like a doddle, then again, maybe not.
In the years since you were a teenager you've grown up psychologically, and the events you experienced since then have formed your persona, what kind of impact would this have on your behaviour if one day you woke up to find yourself back as 15 year old again? What would be your initial impulses? What things would you want to go and do? What would be the first thing you try to change about your past? Would you even want to change anything about your past when you consider that the events that occurred are what have made you the person you are? If you felt the need to change events, would that mean that you are not happy with who you are or would there be other reasons for changing events?
I think some of the factors that I would find most difficult would be the way people would treat me, I was a very different person at that age, so to suddenly find myself back in that time, place and body but with the mind I have today, it would be one hell of a shock to the system. I also had a very different opinion of a lot of people back then to what I do now, as well as a very different attitude and outlook on the world, so as far as other people would be concerned, my behaviour would take a very sudden and dramatic turn, and I imagine that behaviour would not suit a 15 year old for the most part. Of course, it's also entirely possible that you would start to think and act like you did at that age the first time around, all the influences around you would be pushing you to adopt the thoughts and behaviour expected of you, and also there would be some many associations that might cause you to regress.
I'm not really getting at anything with this post, I just found it an interesting debate topic and I'd like to know what other people think would happen.
In the years since you were a teenager you've grown up psychologically, and the events you experienced since then have formed your persona, what kind of impact would this have on your behaviour if one day you woke up to find yourself back as 15 year old again? What would be your initial impulses? What things would you want to go and do? What would be the first thing you try to change about your past? Would you even want to change anything about your past when you consider that the events that occurred are what have made you the person you are? If you felt the need to change events, would that mean that you are not happy with who you are or would there be other reasons for changing events?
I think some of the factors that I would find most difficult would be the way people would treat me, I was a very different person at that age, so to suddenly find myself back in that time, place and body but with the mind I have today, it would be one hell of a shock to the system. I also had a very different opinion of a lot of people back then to what I do now, as well as a very different attitude and outlook on the world, so as far as other people would be concerned, my behaviour would take a very sudden and dramatic turn, and I imagine that behaviour would not suit a 15 year old for the most part. Of course, it's also entirely possible that you would start to think and act like you did at that age the first time around, all the influences around you would be pushing you to adopt the thoughts and behaviour expected of you, and also there would be some many associations that might cause you to regress.
I'm not really getting at anything with this post, I just found it an interesting debate topic and I'd like to know what other people think would happen.
Monday, 28 September 2009
How Long is Long Enough?
This is not a post about penis size, let's get that out the way now before all the comedians out there pipe up and get the two pence (cents) worth in.
I find myself getting frustrated with the length of video games, and it's a problem that has seemingly been present since I got my PS2 back in 2001, and has steadily become more of an issue since then. I don't know if it's just me that finds this, but most modern games have a very short length, which is something that I found to be an issue in both of my recent reviews for Wet and Halo 3: ODST. I find this to be an issue with a good 80% of the games I have played through in the last 7 or 8 years, even COD4 and Halo 3 were not as long as would have liked, it seems to be a common trend now that singleplayer campaigns average out at around 7 - 15 hours, which leads me to ask: is this long enough?
The games I played through prior to 2001 had much longer length, and while I wasn't anywhere near as involved in video games than as I am now, I played a variety of games across SNES, Megadrive (Genesis), Master System, PC, PlayStation and N64, all of which had some good sized games that kept you playing for hours upon hours. In my childhood, I spent hours on the SNES, playing games like Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda, and even games where saving wasn't common place, they were huge adventures that would absorb hours upon hours of button bashing, brightly coloured, imaginative mayhem. But then again, time is relative to the observer, and when you are a kid time seemed to move much slower, so is this all a figment of my imagination? I also have to appreciate that my gaming sessions had time limits placed on them by my parents to an extent, so probably only lasted 1 or 2 hours at a time as opposed to the 5 or even 10 hour sessions I sometimes clock in at on a lazy Sunday these days.
I think not, because even today there are a few games that just seem to last forever, and a stark contrast exists between these long epic adventures compared to the short chapter like games that account for most of what is out there. Final Fantasy games can easily suck up over 100 hours if you try to accomplish everything on offer, and a couple of these are so good that you want to play them through a second, or even third time. The gargantuan offerings from Bethesda that take the forms of The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and Fallout 3 both have had me clocking in over 100 hours each, and with such gigantic single player adventures such as these I can't help but feel other game developers are simply lazy and looking to make a quick buck.
It's a difficult to take a side on this argument, because I am also aware that there are limitations on technology, story, and ideas, as well as limitations posed by the type of games. when a shorter game is released, is it because the developer has spent their time trying to make a more solid gaming experience, so that what is offered may not be very long, but is of extremely high quality? This is certainly the case some of the time, COD4 and Halo 3 being the two examples used above that would also fall into this category, but there are also some very low quality items produced that are also very short in length, but maybe due to their poor quality that is a blessing, I've had a run in with a couple of less than amazing games recently (reviews pending), and I find that I can't be bothered to finish these.
The other factor that changes the shape of the argument completely is the presence of multiplayer, I may hammer my way through most FPS' in 2 or 3 sittings, but if the multiplayer is good, there really is no limit to the amount of time you could spend interacting and shooting other human beings, and I'm sure the same is true for many other genres such as racing games. But should a game rely on multiplayer? For me, multiplayer is an afterthought when I consider buying a game, unless I know ahead of time it's something that me and my friends are all going to get heavily involved in.
I don't really have a conclusion or direction to take this debate to, but if anyone has any thoughts or opposing views I would love to hear them.
I find myself getting frustrated with the length of video games, and it's a problem that has seemingly been present since I got my PS2 back in 2001, and has steadily become more of an issue since then. I don't know if it's just me that finds this, but most modern games have a very short length, which is something that I found to be an issue in both of my recent reviews for Wet and Halo 3: ODST. I find this to be an issue with a good 80% of the games I have played through in the last 7 or 8 years, even COD4 and Halo 3 were not as long as would have liked, it seems to be a common trend now that singleplayer campaigns average out at around 7 - 15 hours, which leads me to ask: is this long enough?
The games I played through prior to 2001 had much longer length, and while I wasn't anywhere near as involved in video games than as I am now, I played a variety of games across SNES, Megadrive (Genesis), Master System, PC, PlayStation and N64, all of which had some good sized games that kept you playing for hours upon hours. In my childhood, I spent hours on the SNES, playing games like Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda, and even games where saving wasn't common place, they were huge adventures that would absorb hours upon hours of button bashing, brightly coloured, imaginative mayhem. But then again, time is relative to the observer, and when you are a kid time seemed to move much slower, so is this all a figment of my imagination? I also have to appreciate that my gaming sessions had time limits placed on them by my parents to an extent, so probably only lasted 1 or 2 hours at a time as opposed to the 5 or even 10 hour sessions I sometimes clock in at on a lazy Sunday these days.
I think not, because even today there are a few games that just seem to last forever, and a stark contrast exists between these long epic adventures compared to the short chapter like games that account for most of what is out there. Final Fantasy games can easily suck up over 100 hours if you try to accomplish everything on offer, and a couple of these are so good that you want to play them through a second, or even third time. The gargantuan offerings from Bethesda that take the forms of The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and Fallout 3 both have had me clocking in over 100 hours each, and with such gigantic single player adventures such as these I can't help but feel other game developers are simply lazy and looking to make a quick buck.
It's a difficult to take a side on this argument, because I am also aware that there are limitations on technology, story, and ideas, as well as limitations posed by the type of games. when a shorter game is released, is it because the developer has spent their time trying to make a more solid gaming experience, so that what is offered may not be very long, but is of extremely high quality? This is certainly the case some of the time, COD4 and Halo 3 being the two examples used above that would also fall into this category, but there are also some very low quality items produced that are also very short in length, but maybe due to their poor quality that is a blessing, I've had a run in with a couple of less than amazing games recently (reviews pending), and I find that I can't be bothered to finish these.
The other factor that changes the shape of the argument completely is the presence of multiplayer, I may hammer my way through most FPS' in 2 or 3 sittings, but if the multiplayer is good, there really is no limit to the amount of time you could spend interacting and shooting other human beings, and I'm sure the same is true for many other genres such as racing games. But should a game rely on multiplayer? For me, multiplayer is an afterthought when I consider buying a game, unless I know ahead of time it's something that me and my friends are all going to get heavily involved in.
I don't really have a conclusion or direction to take this debate to, but if anyone has any thoughts or opposing views I would love to hear them.
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